Disorders of Personality
We offer a service for people who struggle to function effectively and/or are always plagued by distress. People that have ongoing struggles have some part of their personality that is poorly adapted to their lifestyle, whether that’s in relationships, work, getting organised, being happy and content, settling into a routine, coping with daily stressors, finances, managing your mood and/or anger, etc.
Who you are is what makes it difficult to function well, causes you ongoing distress or causes the people in your life a great deal of frustration.
These could point to some problematic ways of thinking, character traits or a personality disorder. Understanding the nature and intensity of your distress is step one to breaking out of these destructive patterns that hold you back. Modern psychology and psychotherapy have highly developed methods for addressing stuck patterns, even when they seem to be built into who you are.
Every person’s personality is unique and every person has strengths as well as weakness. Struggling doesn’t mean that you are weak, broken or a complete disaster, even when it sometimes feels that way.
At Storm’s Edge Therapy we recognise that some issues are long-standing and not always obvious. Nevertheless, they cause heartache for you and those around you. There are many ways to understand these struggles; including the key diagnostic Personality Disorders. Either way, if you feel we can help you, please get in touch.
There are a number of different personality characteristics that cause significant distress or impairment in personal, social, and/or occupational situations. This could mean that you have a personality disorder and that treatment can help you understand yourself and others better, feel happier about who you are and build useful strategies for managing social and work situations.
We all have ideas and strategies that work well and those that don't. Do some research online to see if you might fit one of the personality types; Psych Central has clear and comprehensive descriptions. You don't have to fit neatly into a box to get help, if you are struggling talk to someone. Most people with problematic personality traits don't seek help and suffer in silence, because of shame, thinking "this is just who I am", feeling undeserving or untreatable, or thinking that others won't understand.
Most importantly diagnosis and treatment is a complex matter needing experience and objectivity. Do not self-diagnose, especially in relations to personality.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Maybe your problem is loads of things or perhaps nothing that you can put your finger on. You’re trying so hard, but don’t seem to be able to “get it together”. People say that you are “too much”, “you have so much potential”, “you’re your own worst enemy”, “drama seems to follow you everywhere”, “sometimes you’re great, but sometimes you’re crazy”, “why do these problems always happen to you”, “I never know who you are from one day to the next or sometimes even one minute to the next”. You struggle to keep a job or to progress, friends don’t seem to stick around very long, you have problems with your neighbours or can’t settle down.
You might be aware of the impact that you have on the people around you and may even feel guilty and distressed. You may constantly seek new relationships so that you can do it differently, “get it right this time”. You don’t want to be this person, but until you understand what you are doing and why you will keep repeating this destructive pattern.
This type of person is unstable in mood, goals, interests, friends, even identity; always changing who they are to fit the situation. Inside they feel inadequate, empty and incomplete with uncontrollable shifts between sadness, anger, desperation, hopelessness, never quite finding a middle ground. They are intense in every way; emotional, both clingy and distant in relationships, self-conscious all the time, scared of others and of being alone, rejection and shame sensitive, anxious despite being competent. These can lead to problems with impulsivity, self-harming, substances, eating or sleeping patterns, with the law, being understood, promiscuity, all aspects of life can be affected. See NHS Choices for more details.
This is a disorder that can be difficult to diagnosis and is commonly confused with Bipolar or other psychiatric syndromes. It is difficult to treat needing specialist skills and experience due to the person's instability and their interpersonal difficulties
Our Bordeliner Personality Disorder Portal
At Storm’s Edge Therapy we have extensive experience with this group of people from mild to extreme. We've created a full knowledge hub for clients and professionals seeking information and clarity about BPD. Explore the portal >
Dependent Personality Disorder
Are you clingy in relationships finding it difficult to make your own choices without the help of others? Despite being capable you really struggle to be independent; sometimes going to extremes to get support and comfort. Do you feel incomplete on your own and need other people to give your life meaning and focus?
Some people have intensely dependent traits needing others to take responsibility over what should be their own important life choices. They can lack the confidence to live alone or even to do activities they enjoy, especially starting something new. They can often feel helpless and uncomfortable when alone urgently needing to start a new relationship when one ends. They almost never end a relationship, rather staying when it’s not working rather than being alone.
Do you find being single or alone painful leaving you feeling worthless? And when you are in a relationship having an unrealistic and constant fear of being abandoned. So you are not very good at looking after yourself, because if you are unhappy with a situation you don’t like conflict so just put up with being treated poorly.
If you are not happy or reaching your potential due to lack of confidence and dependence on others, you are not hopeless and there is support for you to grow and change.
You may have a Dependent Personality Disorder which is often characterized by pessimism and self-doubt with a tendency to belittle your abilities and assets. People with this disorder take criticism and disapproval as proof of their worthlessness and lose faith in themselves. They may seek overprotection and dominance from others. Occupational functioning may be impaired if independent initiative is required. They may avoid positions of responsibility and become anxious when faced with decisions. Social relations tend to be limited to those few people on whom the individual is dependent.
At Storm’s Edge Therapy we have extensive experience with this group of people from mild to extreme.
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Do you want closer relationships with others, but lack the confidence and ability to form them? Are you painfully shy, socially awkward or inhibited, feel inadequate and extremely sensitive to rejection? When faced with challenges or potential conflicts, particular involving other people, do you avoid the whole situation and withdraw back to what you know? This is leaving your life stagnant with goals, needs and potentials unmet.
People with Avoidant Personality Disorder experience long-standing feelings of inadequacy and are extremely sensitive to what others think about them. This enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations. It typically leads to significant distress or impairment in social, work or other areas of functioning. The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back to early adulthood or adolescence.
If your go to strategy is always avoidance and you want to be more contact Storm’s Edge Therapy for a consultation.
Anti-Social Personality Disorder
Are the ridiculous rules other people make holding you back? Do you want to get ahead, but other people kept getting in your way? Do others not understand you, calling you insensitive, cold or manipulative?
Do you seem to have troubles with the law, your boss, your family because you don’t bother with socially accepted norms and behaviours? Are drugs or alcohol a problem? Do you struggle to stay in a relationship or a job?
Is this how other people see you?
Friends and family often say you blame other people for your problems, that you lack guilt or remorse and don't seem to learning from your mistakes. Others consider you irresponsible, reckless and have disregard for normal social behaviour. They complain that you are either very cold and calculating or, conversely, have little ability to tolerate frustration and to control your anger.
This type of personality generally has great difficulty in sustaining long-term relationships, especially without using some form of control or manipulation.
A person with an antisocial personality disorder lacks concern about the consequences of their actions on others, seeing them primarily as resources in the service of their own goals. Therefore, they do not show regret or remorse about other people's distress, often seeing others as vulnerable and may intimidate or bully.
I am an artist who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, which can be frighteningly complex for many therapists to deal with. Previous experiences with humanist person-centered counsellors had found me going round in circles. I came upon Kael as I was looking for someone with more expertise with my condition and an understanding of how the functional life of an artist/creative can be radically different from other people’s and thus requires a specific kind of counsellor who understands this. My time with Kael has been really transformative. From the first time I spoke with him he was making such accurate predictions of my behaviour I immediately understood that this is someone with a great depth of knowledge and experience working with artists and creatives. His methods draw from various schools, he is especially adept at knowing when to step in with a strong point that can resonate with you at exactly the right moment, something i found more general humanist counsellors lacked. I am happy to highly recommend him as a counsellor, especially for those working in creative fields.
Kael has enabled me to find myself and to become the person I could always be from the muddled, angry and frightened person I was. Two years ago my relationships were fraught and tense. My family supported me but none of us knew why, nor how much longer it could last. Kael’s empathy, insights and understanding and his skill in recognising and determining the essence of my fears, my sadness and myself, have meant that through kindness, open-mindedness and with wisdom and clarity, he has allowed me to explore and understand those fears. So much so that together, I and my family, and my friends are all of us now taking pleasure in my journey. I am in my 60’s and it is the psychotherapeutic time with Kael that has enabled me at last, to regard myself with kindness and understanding. I no longer fear life, I no longer wake frightened by the thought of the day ahead, of who I am or who I may have hurt with unkind and cruel words. Kael is a Chartered Clinical Psychologist skilled in Pyscho-dynamic Psychotherapy and coaching. He is skilled in and works in the specialist approaches of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Mindfulness Approaches, Mentalization Based Therapy and Schema Focussed Therapy. Kael also saves and enriches lives.